Just weeks after replacing most of the board of The Kennedy Center and having himself made Chairman of the Board, President Trump announced that the center will be reopened as a gentleman’s club. This comes after the refusal of most reputable acts to perform there after Trump’s takeover.
Speaking to reporters, President Trump said, “This is going to be the classiest and hugest strip club you’ve ever seen. And the girls—wait till you see the girls. The most beautiful in the world. Russian girls too, they’re the best—you can trust me on that—I know Russian girls. Putin has already agreed to send me dozens of his best.” When asked by a reporter, “how much will this all cost the taxpayers”, Trump responded, “are you kidding me, what a stupid question, the cover charges alone will pay it off in no time. If that doesn’t work, Muskie (that’s what I call him, Muskie), Muskie will kick a few more deadbeats off Medicaid…security, get this idiot reporter out of here, and she’s not to be let back.”
When Chuck Schumer (D – NY) was asked about the propriety of the action, he responded, “I’m not really sure he has the authority to make such a move without Congressional approval, but you can rest assured, I’m going to have my staff send out a strongly worded message to The White House.”