New York, NY -- GOP candidate Donald Trump was admitted to Saint Joseph’s Hospital in Queens today after what he claimed was “a vicious attack” by Muslim Gold Star father, Khizr Khan at the Democratic National Convention. In an unprovoked onslaught, Mr. Khan suggested Trump may have not read the Constitution and had made no sacrifices for the country. Trump spokeswoman Kathrine Pieface said, “Mr. Trump tried to keep up a brave face for a while, but finally succumbed to the aftereffects of the attack and was admitted to the hospital today.”
During a press conference, Chief of Psychiatry at St. Joseph’s, Dr. Kendra Swartz said, “At this point we have not been able to diagnose Mr. Trump’s condition. At first, we thought he might have had hurt feelings, but on further tests we discovered that he has no capacity for feelings.” There is no word as to when Mr. Trump will be released from the hospital and his campaign events for the next two days have been suspended.