NEW YORK — MSNBC today announced that they will rebranding their popular morning show, "morning joe", to "morning trump". Vice-president of programming, Arnold Putz said, "The new name will more accurately represent to our viewers the content of the show. The show's format will more or less stay the same — 100% coverage of Donald Trump — only now, Mika will be gagged to prevent her from blurting out stuff about that old jewish guy. What's his name? Flanders?"

In what seems more like an extended book tour than a Presidential campaign, and on the heels of the release of his wife, Candy Carson's book, the Carson's pet dog Milo today released a book of his own. Carson has already sold hundreds of thousands of books on his campaign and was shilling Milo's on the campaign trail in Iowa today.

The book, Pugnacious, details the story of the dog's life, starting as an angry and unruly young puppy coming of age under the sage tutelage of owner and master, Ben Carson. Milo's exploits as a young pup are chronicled in sometimes shocking detail, with stories of defecating on family rugs and tearing furniture to shreds. Later, under the watchful eye of a kind and Christian Ben Carson, Milo becomes a model citizen and cherished family pet.